'Well I foster failed': Person thinks they're only fostering a kitten, but their cat adopts her and shows them that the kitten is already where she belongs

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Oct 3, 2026 1:30 PM EDT

The human never has the final say when adopting a cat. It is always the cat's choice in the end. 

Foster failing is common for a reason. And yes, it is in part because cats are adorable, and once you live with a cat and you see that adorableness every single day, it's hard to give that up. But more so than that is something else. And every cat owner knows this. Cats adopt their humans, not the other way around. That is a fact, not a theory. Cats walk up to you and adopt you on the street. Cats walk directly into your house. Cats will jump in front of your cat to get you to adopt them. And even if you are someone who walked into a shelter with the express intention of adopting a cat, then still, there was that one cat that you had a connection with like none of the other cats. That one cat that was special, that was purrfect. You probably could have chosen any of the cats there, but that was the cat that chose you. 

And the best part? Cats choose their humans, yes, but sometimes cats can also choose another cat. That is one of the dangers of fostering cats when you already have cats,and that is something that the person in today's story learned the hard way. You may be content with the cat you have. You may be able to resist the meowgic of the kitten you're fostering. But that doesn't mean that your cat can. And once a cat chooses… 

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  • 01

    "Well I foster failed but how could I separate Big Baby Jim (black) and Mac (tabby)"

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  • Truly, there is not much that you can do once your pet adopts a pet for themselves. People always talk about how cats do not get attached to others, but it is so not true. Cats not only bond, sometimes, cats bond incredibly quickly. The very first night that I adopted my kitten, she climbed up my huge mattress - because she couldn't even jump yet - and tucked her face into my neck. The very first night, when she was still so tiny that I was terrified of crushing her in the middle of the night. I don't remember how many times I moved her away and placed her back in her bed. Every time I did, she insisted, climbed up that mattress and shoved her face into my neck. And she has been doing that every day of her life since- for the past 11 years. She knew. She knew I was hers right away, the same way that the cat in this story knew that about the kitten. Separating them was not an option. He has chosen, and that is the end of that. 

  • 04
    Electrical-Apple-631 My daughter runs a rescue shelter. She will foster a cat or dog when she doesn't have a volunteer available. As a result her one dog (and husband and son) family has increased to 3 dogs and a cat. Her husband has asked her to quit adopting anymore fosters, my grandson doesn't really care, and the pets have made it clear that there's always room for one more, maybe two.
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    sarotto OP Yeah when we started working with this org we had 2 m. Now I'm a board member for the charity and have 6
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    jodileewondering Did you fosterfail both or was one already part of the fam?
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    sarotto OP Yes and also yes. Foster failed Jim 4 years ago and foster failed with Mac this week. I'm NOT sad about it
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    dandelionlemon Which one was the foster cat originally???
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  • 09
    sarotto OP Um Jim was a foster first, then I kept him. Then Mac was also a foster who I kept
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  • 10
    neverapp Did Big Baby Jim start as a big Or was he Baby Jim first, baby? and get big?
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    sarotto OP Excellent question - started as small baby tiny boy and then just never stopped growing
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  • Foster failing so many cats sounds amazing. It is obviously what my future looks like as well, and honestly, I cannot wait. If my cats are going to be anywhere near as cute as yours - and they will be - then that is a fate that I am happy to have. 

  • 13
    Amkao-Herios Jim is indeed a large baby
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    sarotto OP Lorge
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    ploppedmenacingly14 Omg big baby Jim is such a funny name lol
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    sarotto OP Sometimes we call him BBJ for efficiency
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  • 17
    KreyKat Just looking at that face says: "You did good.Thank you."
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    glycophosphate You are not authorized to separate the big spoon from the little spoon.
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    BellaSquared You might call it a foster fail, but they probably call it something very different. Who says nothing good comes from failure, look at those content faces!
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    The Ipod_Account That is a level of peace and comfort that I will strive my entire life for.
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aww wholesome cat adorable adoption heartwarming cute adopted story Cats rescue
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